My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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