Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
