How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
