God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
