i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
