we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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