I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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