We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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