put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
