can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
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Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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