You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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