Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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