They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
