proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize