her vagine was all disorganized.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
