Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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