Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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