it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
