Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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