it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
