It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
