so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
