I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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