You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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