My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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