On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
