Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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