He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
