I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize