I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
