Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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