Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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