lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
