This house was built for laser tag.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
