I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
