508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
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I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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