And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Farmville is her only friend.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
