where am i from again
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
third nipple confirmed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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