I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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