Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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