You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
