You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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