There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
