she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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