so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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