do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
