I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
