we're blogging at a bar
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
