yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
