It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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