Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm always down for nudity.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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