If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
