rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
