He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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