This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
