STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
