Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
