I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
