It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
