but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
