I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
